this just makes me laugh...

oh sesame street...

More Green Hat Oops Daddy!

Aaahh the sweetness of bedtime and the routines that we have. This book is officially off the "list" of bedtime stories due to its ability to set Miles back a few steps in his "readiness" for bed...oh well. I just can't seem to get enough of the giggling!

P.S. Don't watch this if you don't like laughter, videos of story time, or if you just have a cold heart...seriously.

36 hours and 3 days later...

Here is a picture of our life this week. Things have been crazy, busy, scary, and most importantly relieving of the goodness of our God.

Tuesday Morning, we sent out this email:

Hey Friends,
Yesterday Leigh and I received a call from her OBGYN asking us to come in to discuss something they saw in the ultrasound taken a week and a half ago. When we arrived, our doctor told us of two things that showed up in the image, both of which seem to have left him scratching his head.

The first is some sort of abnormality on the baby’s head. We do know it is off to the side, and all the inner cranial structures appear to be intact. It’s almost like there’s a sort of bubble on the outside of the skull, and they haven’t seen it (at least like this) before. He told us that it could be a false image, something appears to be there but in fact is not. It could be a cyst of some kind that’s filled with fluid that, once drained, is no big deal. Or it could be something else. Something else is what scares us.

The second is a calcification, or hard spot, in her heart. These are very common in babies, and generally not a big deal. The difference here is ours is not in the usual place. Again, no real ideas on what this means, just that it’s not the norm.

So, today at 2:45 Leigh and I will be going to Forsyth Medical to have a better, more specialized ultrasound done. We’ll be there for several hours, and at the end talk with a doc who specializes in reading these sorts of ultrasounds. Hopefully when we’re done we’ll know more. Our hope is that this is a false image, and that our little girl (if you didn’t know, she’s a girl!) is fine and healthy. For me, I take some comfort in the fact that the doctor can’t explain what he’s seeing.

Leigh and I are about as one would expect. Both of us are afraid, unsure of how to feel, and scared to hope for good news and terrified of bad news. There’s definitely a sense of, “Really God? Can’t this go easy? I can’t do hard any more. It feels like we just finished hard.” We’ve spent all our time dreaming of names, how to decorate, and looking at cute baby girl clothes. You don’t really think about this stuff.

This morning Leigh woke up with the song based on Zeph 3:17 stuck in her head. Which is not normal—I couldn’t tell you the last time we’ve sung that. Which, in our opinion, makes it God at work. This is what the song says: “The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. The Lord will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Please pray with and for us. Pray for a healthy baby girl. Pray for Leigh and I to have the courage to trust God. Pray for us to know how to love each other and Miles in the midst of uncertainty. Thank you for being our friends and walking through life with us.
Love,
Brad

Tuesday evening we sent out this email:

Everything is great! EVERYTHING!

Thank you all for praying for us and our daughter today. For Leigh and I, it has been a place where we've seen God intervene in our lives in an amazing way. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

When we sat with our doc yesterday, it was the only time I've ever seen him worried. The only time he's ever called us in for a special unscheduled appointment. He didn't know what he saw in the ultrasound, and it bothered him. He wanted to be thorough, and we're so grateful for that.

Today, after two rounds of ultrasounds with two different doctors and two different techs, we were given a resounding "all clear." In fact, so resounding that they were baffled as to why we were there to begin with. They kept looking at things over and over, measuring body parts, and asking again and again what exactly the problem was that sent us there, because they could see nothing wrong. Nothing at all!

I don't know if I've ever known relief and release like I did when we left the last doctor. I didn't realize how scared I really was. Leigh and I were both laughing and crying, giddy. And so thankful. We know that God is sovereign over any outcome, but we're so grateful for this one. Thank you for coming alongside us and praying. There's a part of me that wants to share snippets of emails with all of you, so you can see how well you've cared for us. Thank you for being in our lives.

Side note--we came home to a package on the porch. It was the first set of PJ's that Leigh had ordered for our little girl. She was so afraid that we'd come home with bad news to find them waiting. God has been so good to us!

In Him with a full heart,
Brad

3 days later:

I still find myself crying over those 36 hours we experienced at the start of this week. While praying during those hours, I struggled with my faith in this outcome. The "hard" that we went through just a year ago with the loss of my Mom was still such a fresh wound on my heart. I have dealt with trusting the process of prayer and feelings of jealousy in the trials of others that had "better" outcomes, questioned why our results were not different and if my faith was lacking. I have wanted to run away, hide, and more or less stopped praying. If I didn't pray, I couldn't be let down or feel abandoned. But truth persued me. God is good. Always good. We are broken, part of a broken world, and if results don't gratify, it is hard to have faith that it is still God being good. His plan, though not ours, is good and perfect.

I was scared to continue on through this process and have results, knowing I could be hurt, left scratching my head, throwing fists in the air...again. I had no idea that the outcome would change me again, this time pointing me towards Christ. While talking with an old friend today, he told Brad after learning about our scare, "you can look at this two ways and both with reflect your faith. One is, NOTHING was there to begin with and later ultrasounds proved that fact, or you can believe that THERE WAS SOMETHING there and God's hand intervened. Faith lies in how you receive it." If you ask me, there was something there and then it was not. Right now we are reminded that our little girl is a GIFT....not a promise. I am filled with an overabundance of joy, living in the fact that His compassions NEVER FAIL (lamentations 3:22) learning to be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer (Romans 12:12)

ACK Indeed!

In the past years, I have slowly been gaining momentum in my passion towards food. Lets just say, I have really strong opinions about the misuse in labeling, governmental food priorities (food that is bad for you is inexpensive to buy...food stamps aren't helping make us healthy...), and don't even get me started on school lunches. The whole truth surrounding the food industry is stomach churning. The country as a whole, is set in this rut of obesity, unhealthy living and habits, as well as being apathetic about it all.

I stumbled upon this Colbert Report and could not quit laughing. He makes light of the issues, but is dead on with the points he makes about us (as a country) and our view of food.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Thought for Food - Corn Diapers, Fatty Foods & Jamie Oliver
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Reform

Praise God for Sesame Street

So, as a child I hated Sesame Street. No, I think I actually loathed it. I always wanted to keep up with my brothers and do things big boys do. (Yes, I said "boys") By the time I was of Sesame street age, I didn't want any of it...at all. (Well, from what I can remember at least.)

Now, most days at 10, I have PBS on, and that wonderful show that has aired since 1969, finally gets my attention. Maybe it's because it entertains Miles all the while being a stimulating resource for his brain. Maybe it's because during the time I can clean up the breakfast mess, and get some laundry in the machine. Maybe because it's wholesome (though I have heard the phrase "poo poo head" used recently)... Or maybe because it lifts my spirits....

I'm ready for spring, ready for scenes outside the walls in my home, ready for new life and fresh air....AND ready for some Jason Mraz.

Go Dog Go!

Miles likes books. Actually Miles LOVES books. One book in particular has been getting a whole lot of reading time these days. In fact, yesterday Brad and I must have read Go Dog Go at least half a dozen times.... Our son is absolutely in love with the classic by P.D. Eastman. When you step back and think about it, it totally makes sense. The vocabulary contained within the pages of this book are many words that Miles has been speaking daily. Dog, go, hat, car.....are just to name a few. I had no idea that when we picked this book up a month ago, it would never be set down for a lengthy amount of time. In fact yesterday while cleaning up "toys" before bed, I realized that there were no toys to actually put away, just a massive basket of books scattered about the house. I guess we have a reader on our hands.

While reading about her birthday on my friend Leslie's blog, I discovered that many Dr. Seuss readers are on YouTube! Yay. Now we have yet another avenue to enjoy the book through. Thanks Leslie!

The Man your Man could smell like

So, this is hands down my new favorite commercial. Makes me laugh every time. Enjoy!

Photo of the day Recap: Jan 23, Great Wolf Lodge

This is a recap of a conversation Brad and I just had about 30 minutes ago. Once again, evidence that though I mean well, I never can communicate just how I intend to. Classic foot in mouth disease....

Me:
You know Brad, this photo of the day is not that bad. I mean, I'm not disgusted or anything with you having your shirt off.....

I mean, P90X is working...

eeeerrr, what I meant to say is, its not like I was ever really disgusted by you....

You just look good. Not that you looked bad....

What I trying to say is you don't look fat or anything....

uh. Never mind.
******

My loving husband's response:

I'm glad that I have confidence that you love me.... a lot.
Otherwise, My self esteem would be about zero after that compliment.

Thanks Honey...

I love you too.

Photo of the day Recap: January 7, 2010

Me: "I need to go check on the laundry, have you seen my shoe Miles?"

Miles: "ooose?"

Me: "Yes, my shoes. I have one. Where is the other?" (at this point I proceeded to check every trashcan and toy basket in the house....the most recent places missing shoes have turned up.)

Miles follows me into every room while I look for the stupid shoe.
*****
...and then ta da...
I eventually found the missing shoe. Miles had placed it in his shoe basket with all of his shoes. That's where it belongs, right?
Thank you son.

Photo of the day Recap: January 6, 2010

Me: "Miles, do you want to go outside?"

Miles: Eeease. Eeeease. (while signing please by rubbing impatiently with BOTH hands)

Me: "Okay. Lets put on your shoes."

Miles: "ooos?"

Me: "Yes. Shoes. Where are your shoes?"

Miles: Two hands up in the air motioning "where"

Me: "I can't find them. Where did they go? Not in here (shoe basket). Maybe we should pick up some toys and we'll find them...."
*******
...and while moving Miles' truck I found where he had placed his shoe. Why shouldn't a little person be tucked safely inside while going on a big truck ride? I mean, that makes sense right?

Mid January....how are your resolutions going?

I'm not really one for resolutions. I always have just felt that you can change how you do something, stop doing something, or start up something new any time of the year. Why wait for the first day of the new year? But, this year I decided to join the masses of those that start off with the newness of the year with a fresh look at how this year will be lived. Two weeks in, and can't say I'm doing perfect in all areas, but it is definitely great to be reminded that my intentions are to change it up a bit. So here it is....

1. At least 4 homemade meals a week. I would like to try organize these meals around the fresh vegetables and fruits that are in season. Meat can be the main ingredient on occasion.

2. Exercise. I know, 99 percent of the American population has probably jumped on the eat right and exercise bandwagon. Well, heres to hoping there is room for one more. There was a time in my life where I would rather be outside and dirty from climbing, hiking, running, biking, paddling or any other of the millions of activities that exist outside (yes even disc golf people). Any of these was a better choice than staying inside sitting on my butt and consuming empty calories. Then it happened....life with a career, then married life, then life in a new town, followed by pregnancy and life with an infant. Life doesn't stop or slow down, and over the last 5 years, my carefree attitude about my body has well....changed. Because, my body has changed. So, I will now be competing my own form of P90x (concentrating on the whole body but mainly on legs, butt, and gut).

3. Take a picture a day. So far I have been successful 16 of the 18 days in Jan. It has been fun to document some of the funny occurrences in the Bucklad home over the last month.

4. Read 1 book each month. I don't read much anymore, and find it hard to sit down and enjoy a book. That said, I haven't started this month's book yet.

5. Correspond by mail once a week. Yes, get out the stationary and use it! Now that Christmas cards are mailed, I'll begin the intimate act of writing words on paper to the people I love.

And....there they are. All 5. I still believe that I can drop, add, and modify to this list at any point, and won't feel guilty if I find it necessary to do so. I just wanted to take advantage of the "fresh start" thing and attack mind, body, and soul.

Here's to a better year!

It's all about Grace

Earlier this week after learning about the horrific earthquake in Haiti, Brad and I were beginning our day with some small conversation over coffee. (yes, I do feel guilty that we are in our own little world sipping coffee while lives were permanently changed from this horrible horrible event) I started to make a statement about how my heart hurt over the event and how Haiti seemed like such a dark place. We then got distracted with who know what without finishing our conversation. Had we been able to finish, I would have shared why my heart hurt concerning the situation. One, being that of hope. Two, being that of dumb people claiming God caused or made this to happen.

First of all, after a year of heartache which I have shared openly about, I have realized that the only reason, I am even able to function is because I have hope. My hope is from Christ. period. I believe that there is more to life than what we experience and understand here in the present. I hurt for those that suffer daily and don't know of Christ and what life can look like once it is lived to the fullest with hope that only comes from Him. I pray that those suffering after this disaster have hope. I just can't imagine continuing on daily with out the expectation of something more.

I have also come to realize that many people do not know how to deal with the hurt and heartache that comes from grieving after the loss of someone you love. At some point in time, people have adapted to dealing with this loss by saying such lame comments like "their time was just up, they're in a better place, God needed his angel, Her work was finished here on earth...."....to all that crappy advice...shove it. Its just LAME. Once again, I do not believe that God says "boom. I'm taking Lynne Rendleman. Or wham, sorry Haiti, your finished." God does not work that way. We are all looking at the same end result for our life here on earth. Death. We are all going to die one day. Whether it is at 57 from an aneurysm, 16 from a car accident, 95 while asleep in your bed, or from a tragic natural disaster such as a hurricane, tsunami, or earthquake that gives no mercy to any age. This is a broken world, and there are broken things that happen as a result of that. God does not make these terrible things happen. It is condition that we are living with that makes this world the horrible place it is. Where babies have to live with diseases, people have to fight cancer, where we have to face the nagging question every day "why do bad things happen to good people?".

This is where hope comes in. This is why I hurt for Haiti, and my concern for it being a "dark" place. Is there hope present? Do they know they are a victim of a broken world not the vengeance of God? I pray they do.

These feelings, as strong as they are, balance on a fine line of turning into anger when I hear comments like those from Pat Robertson. It makes my stomach turn that there are people that claim Christ yet speak of a vengeful God that causes an earthquake to a happen basically to teach a lesson because "they made a pact with the devil." What is the purpose of Christ's death on the cross if God deals out consequences because of the things we do. It is not about what we do (good or bad) cause we do a lot....and none of it is worthy of the love of God. We are broken. Jesus died to change all that.

For it is by GRACE you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--Ephesians 2:8

I am struggling to give grace towards Robertson. He is making the case for Christ that much harder. People hate christians because of attitudes like the one he has shown. Donald Miller wrote some words dealing with this situation. Take some time to read. He is graceful in his approach to react towards words that are so harsh and hateful instead full of light, love, and truth.