Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Got to the hospital today around 11 am. I was pleased to see that Rachel was the nurse that would be taking care of Mom for the 7 to 7 day shift. Chuck and I arrived together and asked Rachel about Mom's morning. She had fed herself half of the meal and that was enough to tire her out. She laid there snoring and barely awake even when Dr. Chase arrived to check on her. Dr. Chase came in and cheerfully grabbed her hands asking her to squeeze and release each of her hands. Mom was half asleep and grabbed the doctors hand with her own left hand, which she had previously struggled to do. Dr. Chase even chuckled and told her she could let go! Imagine that. What a gift to see mom holding on so tightly with her left hand! She then took the flashlight and shined it into her eyes, and remarked at how her pupils looked great. She sent Mom in for another CT scan and commented on waiting for today's doppler on her brain. We noticed that she had another tube and bag set up for her to lessen the frequency of having to clean her up after an "accident". How humbled my mom would be if she was aware that they had that there. I pray she is not aware. The nurse also mentioned that shes had a rash that had come on since her second "procedure" on Sunday. She has blisters and sores around her backside and the femoral artery that they use for access to the brain. This bag was set up so she didn't have to lay in any waste she may have while waiting to be cleaning up. It could lead to infection of the sores.

Chuck, Mommom, and I left for lunch about 12 and returned at one. We retuned with a cup of coffee (plenty of half and half in hand) and some girl scout cookies for Mom. Hoping to cheer her up, we also brought in her glasses so she could see the pictures and notes that now decorate her room. She held the coffee and sucked it down fast and resonded with a uhuh when we asked if she would like a second cup. Mom's spirits seem to be down still since Sunday. Each day is like a roller coaster of emotion and we find ourselves leaving each visit commenting on the condition of her spirit during a visit. Other than the satisfaction that she seemed to have from the snack, there was not much responding to comments made be Chuck or myself. She just stared at the clock like she was waiting for a certain time. Was it for visiting hours to be finished, dinner to come, or her just keeping track of the time as it passes? Her heart seems so focused on the clock. I asked what she was waiting for and I had no response. I asked if she knew what time it was and she responded 2:20, but nothing else. We asked Dr. Chase earlier if the staff watched out for saddness and what do they do about it with patients. She assured us that they were all trained to keep up with the ups and downs of patients and that Mom was just sleepy. Apparently the location of the aneurism affects personality and that it was normal for us to see a difference in her interaction.

Chuck had to leave for work and we worked out a schedule that I would stay for the 4 to 530 visit with Mom. When I walked in, Rachel had bathed Mom and shampooed her hair. She pointed at the pictures sitting on the table across for Mom and stated that she tried to comb it like the pictures. What a blessing to have someone care for Mom like that after the previous day's nurse. She was pretty spent by this point and I decided to sit silently next to her so that if she woke up, she would see me and feel conforted. She slept most of the visiting hour and only awoke when Rachel came to give her her medicine. We worked together to wake her up long enough to drink her apple juice that contained her medicine. Then she looked at me for a bit. I took this opportunity to try to talk with her asking questions that she could not answer with an uhuh or an uthuh. She moved her lips like she was thinking of the words to say but would not let any words out. I asked if she felt angry. Her eyes just seem so cold. It's getting tough to see this since if any of you know my Mom, she is the person who is always positive to a sickening level at times. I let her doze off again and touched her arm as I left to say the visiting time was over and Chuck would be returning for the next visiting time.

Chuck came back to Mom's room about 8:00 and brought her daily treat. Today was banana pudding. He turned on the t.v. to watch the Mentalist, a show that they usually enjoy together on Tuesday nights. She continued to watch the clock and tv. Chuch watched her look back and forth. He asked the time, she didn't answer. She refused to feed herself, so Chuck decided to feed her so that she would get her nutrition. We don't want the feeding tube back, so if she won't feed herself, then we will do it for her. Sorry doctors...We just want to care for her like she would with us. At 10, Chuck got up and let her know that he was going to be kicked out for the night because the visiting time was over. He turned off the light and she closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.

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